How to Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

Will the Zombie Apocalypse happen?  I hope not, I don't think zombies would buy very many skis or much of anything for that matter.  So in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse we want our followers and customers to be prepared.  Everybody that is actually worried about this social media driven end of days, are thinking about surviving this castrophic event all wrong. The answer to surviving the Zombie Apocalypse is simple, and here are two solutions that will help to ensure your survival.

Solution #1:  Buy a boat

Based on the data collected from watching zombie movies, zombies can't swim.  Buying a boat will enable you to get away from land where zombies are running around and fast.  Even if it's a lake or pond, just make sure it's big enough to support a good amount of boats so zombies don't jump off shore and run from boat to boat.  Also make sure the lake is deep enough, no one knows how fast a zombie can walk through water but experts think it's slightly faster than mortal humans.  

If people in your party get sick when being on a boat, or the boat isn't big enough to hold supplies for an extended period of time.  Find a body of water with an island (remember that the water surrounding the island needs to be deep so the zombies will be forced to attempt swimming, which they will fail at) if you plan now you can start stashing supplies.  If you are on a popular body of water like Lake Minnetonka, Big Island isn't a good option for stashing supplies, weekend partygoers will find and consume your beer and doritos.  

I know what your thinking... 'We'll bring fishing rods to catch our food'  There haven't been any movies of fish becoming zombies only birds,  you're probably safe unless a movie comes out saying otherwise.

Solution #2:  Buy a home....... On a mountain... Next to at least an intermediate trail... That has snow surrounding the property... Year round.

Properties like this are hard to come by, if you have home that fits the criteria listed above, this blog post just boosted the value of your property.  If you would like to send me a commision check for the boost in home value, give the office a call and we'll make arrangements.   

The reason that a home that is surrounded by snow next to an intermediate or expert trail on a mountain will be safe from a zombie attack is because walking up anything steeper than a green circle trail in shoes is really, really hard.  Experts are certain that zombies don't know how to put on snow shoes, their legs would break trying to put on a pair of ski boots and they have lost the mental capacity after becoming a zombie to know how use a boa coiler on snowboard boots.  

I know what you're thinking.... 'What about the chair lifts?'  It's estimated 93% of ski resorts will have shut down the chairlifts if a zombie attack even makes it to the amazing ski town that you decided to buy a mountain side chalet.  The reason 7% of ski resorts will keep the chair lifts and gondolas turning is because they are owned by the people that came up with that T-Shirt, 'The worst day skiing is better than the best day at work/school'.  In the event that zombies do make it your favorite ski town, we recommend finding a safe apres ski location.  

These two solutions for surviving the zombie apocalypse happen to be things that are really fun to have, even if the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen.  If you were looking for an excuse to pull the trigger on a boat or a place at the mountain, this is a good excuse even if the zombie apocalypse never becomes more than just a hashtag on twitter.  #zombieapocalypse